Sunday, December 12, 2010

Epilogue 2010

"What will you do now?" people ask.

Always we begin again," was St. Benedict's answer.

"God only knows," is mine.
That is perhaps more unsettling to friends and family than it is to me. But planning my life has always been illusory, and I have been surprised by joy. Perhaps I am learning at last to listen and to wait -- with a song of hope in my heart. Yes, I will hug loved ones; yes, I will work; and yes, I will have shoulder surgery. How, when and where are simply details to be determined.
Our friends in Maseno taught me the real meaning of hope. Robin, the young missioner who mentored me through TEC's training in New York, has mentored me home to Martha's Vineyard -- this time with a passage from Praying Our Days by The Rt. Rev. Frank T. Griswold, 25th Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church:

A Prayer for Availability to God's Will
O God, I do not know what to ask of you.
You alone know my true needs
and love me more than I know how to love.
I ask neither for cross nor consolation,
but only that I may discern and do your will.
Teach me to wait in patience with an open heart,
knowing that your ways are not our ways,
and your thoughts are not our thoughts.
Help me to see where I have erected idols of certitude
to defend myself from the demands of your
ever-unfolding truth:
Truth you have made known to us in the one
who is the truth,
Our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
(After Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, 1867)


Anonymous said...

Welcome home! Your openness to whatever is to come is so wonderful to hear - and so hard to emulate. I wish I had your faith and trust.

Dianne, Dee, Mom, Granny said...

Is there any other choice? (My BP is already too high.) L&H&B to you, too!